Hypersexed

wordsandturds:

so during all that pizza talk, i ordered a pizza and i was like oh man it’s getting delivered i’d better put pants on. wait. you know what’s a GREAT idea?! NOT wearing pants in case it’s an extra hot delivery boy who is like, DID SOMEONE ORDER SOME EXTRA SAUSAGE?! and then i’d be like oooooooh yes, YES, i did, and please whisk me away from virginia woolf! and then i’d eat pizza while he did me from behind and did a reach-around on my clit.

but the delivery guy was like, kind of old and i clearly made him uncomfortable so i gave him an extra big tip because i’m sort of stoned and i think he could tell and he gave me disappointed dad face.

i really fail at everything.

everything about this is so perfect though!